#nasty man <3 stupid burned out gifted kid with a superiority complex <3

[fumifooms]

Yeah, blunt being equated to being mean and dislikeable is something that happens a lot both irl and in fiction sadly :/  Like, lmao, look at all the N haters... I’ve looked at a lot of anti-N stuff and it’s mostly either because they associate N with the story arc they like less/because he replaces their fave L, or because they find him to be an annoying, obnoxious and rude brat, despite him just like?? Being an efficient detective that’s confrontational and always spitting facts idk dude?? He was my fave as a kid, and surprise surprise I’m autistic lol. I agree that I got SO much shit in my life for just speaking bluntly, when I say nothing mean people just assume things and put words in my mouth, the problem isn’t me idk what to tell you bud.

Anyways yeah. Tbh there’s a weird part of the fandom that sees L as this neurotypical mastermind that acts odd for some weird reason, and the language some people use to refer to his habits/nd-ness are... Ableist to say the least. Like 😬 maybe don’t call him a freak and don’t encourage him getting ABA training or some shit. I’ve seen very offensive & casual ways to talk about him from that stance, not saying any names or linking to anything but just yikes

Personally I like to see L as this subversive take on the genius loner who only cares about himself, that yeah he’s very powerful from an intelligence standpoint and with influence built up from his skills, but he has put himself through a grinder getting to that purely efficient lifestyle of eating nothing but sweets and working on cases 24/7. He is successful, objectively. He has accomplished the goals he set for himself. It should be a definite win, nothing else to see there, and yeah most fans don’t question how fulfilling of a life he actually leads and if he should continue down that road, but still, if you look at it the question becomes obvious; he’s successful, he sees nothing wrong with his lifestyle, but he’s so obviously unhealthy. Is it worth it? Should we still support it? It’s such an interesting situation that I never see presented in such a way through subtext. As a reader, you can’t even really tell if the author sees L’s lifestyle as acceptable or self-destructive. Yeah it gets results, but he’s also pretty miserable and has isolated himself so much, yet he still sees nothing wrong with these larger choices he makes and refuses to self-reflect most of the time. L Lawliet would work himself to an early grave and it’s literally 100% canon. Like yeah he’s this cold calculated man, genius man, best detective in the whole world, but he’s also an alone emotionally repressed dude who can only find meaning in solving puzzles and refuses anything self-care. His reason for eating nothing but sweets is so weak and pitiful, first of all you need to get your brain chemistry checked, second yeah keep telling yourself the only reason is for productivity I’m sure there’s no attachment to comfort food or anything else there, machine man only ever has logical reasons for things yes sure. It’s okay to just sit in an unconventional way, do you have to bust out statistics or are you just so used to having to justify your behavior to others? Do you feel like you can’t just let yourself be, are you not allowed to look into yourself and validate what you find there? He’s very much glorified and put on some almost inhuman pedestral of elite, yet he dies on the floor in failure and lives like some overworked college student. It’s a very weird portrayal for a very complex character, indeed. 

I do call him precious, and even baby sometimes in happy gushing, and I think that’s both fine and cool as long as it doesn’t breach into every sentence or depictions of him on a wider scale. I agree that him always getting called that and having his tag filled with soft L just stimming and smiling and stuff can be annoying and feels infantilizing/a dumbing down of the character, but it’s pretty subjective in the end as it’s more about how much it happens how often, and vibes; like are you stimming with us or just baby talking to us as we stim, y’know?

In the end, I don’t even see him as an asshole that much tbh (since imo the problem isn’t that he wants to be rude, but is ignorant and uncaring of the world beyond himself in a stunted in that social awareness way), just, like, “I’m smart. Yes. I may suppress every emotion I have ever had and purposefully ignore all the objective facts on how emotional and social development as well as my basic needs are beneficial for both productivity and mental health, but that’s fine because I’m some enlightened chosen one who’s above all that. I don’t need to be happy, I just need to constantly distract myself and I’m thriving, see.“ misguided emotionally dumb grimy man. A nasty boy, who done terrible stuff and just, refuses to have a single productive thought about it. A panda-eyed malnourished unhealty lonely sad idiot boy. Bless Watari for being his 1 connection and caretaker, but also screw him for being such an enabling and abusive (since he’s the one to have raised L this way from a kid) lil shit. I have Death Note hot takes ok. L was just me as an edgy preteen with undiagnosed big brain autism lmao. Interacting with neurotypicals and merit-based validation childhood will do that to ya. As a kid he was a nice reasurance that like, at least someone gets it, one person in the world is right and cool aka like me. But now, as someone who’s grown and evolved from that mindset, he’s very much like, a sad/bittersweet portrayal of a lost guy who sacrifices his humanity and healthy productive wake up calls for scraps of feeling not shitty and doesn’t even realize it. Don’t ever be fooled that L Lawliet has his shit together and has himself figured out.

So I guess what I’m saying is that yeah, I like when L gets taken down a peg from being a serious man who does serious things/gets infantilized in a way, but not in the uwu softie way, in the humanizing “you are a human who still has so much to learn and need to get your head out of your ass so you can finally grow, maybe, please. So until then you’re getting mandatory therapy sessions with someone who will not sugarcoat to u how wrong you are and also kidproof doorknobs so you can’t go to your office at 2 am” messy way. I’m joking/exaggerating because ik we autistics can have trauma of having our decision making autonomy taken away from us, so I’m reassuring you don’t take this like that lol, but hopefully you get what I mean? Watari just letting him do whatever he wants is clearly not helping, ideally he’d need a better support system that can and will call him out on unhealthy behaviors and thoughts, and a new structure, and a good ol’ dose of self-introspection. And sometimes you need to let yourself become small and weak again, unsure and vulnerable, and unconditionally lovable, like a child, before you can heal from your urge of being perfect and productive 24/7. Some days you’ll have brainfog L, the sugar crash of chasing dopamine and focus with spoons of sugar is not worth it let yourself be chill for 1 day please I beg you

Whew I got sidetracked. Anyways have this I guess. I think this just goes to show how many interpretations there can be of one character and how beautiful that is! Please don’t let yourself be offended by my view of him, even if I might seem like I think mine is superior because of good old autism making me come accross differently from how I meant it. I promise I don’t judge other (non-ableist) interpretations of him, and this is as stated a stance that is very much based on my own experiences and ideologies, I don’t mean to put down anyone’s priorities or lifestyles, even if some are objectively more self-destructive than others but I’ll let u do ur own research on that if u relate a bit too much

there is nothing that makes me angrier than people callling L a “sweet cinnamon roll.” no. no. no. L is morally gray. L believes the ends always justify the means. L tortures for information. L is honestly not much morally better than Light. L is not a good person.